Cookie Clicker Is A Very Silly Game And I Can’t Stop Playing

Cookie Clicker in frenzy mode, making seven times as many cookies.

Screenshot: Orteil / Kotaku

It was September, 2024 when it started off. Kotaku editor-in-chief Patricia Hernandez requested me to take care of a post, a story about a clicker sport on Steam obtaining patched to let dishonest. What a entertaining, novel notion, certainly worthy of a tale. No challenges there. That was how my challenges with Cookie Clicker started. I have now baked 24,507,000,000,000,000 cookies.

Evidently I’m late to clickers. Hell, I’m extremely late to Cookie Clicker, which has been all around considering the fact that 2013. But I guess it is about what you tumble into, not when you slide into it.

The premise is idiotically basic. You click on a image of a cookie. That is, for as well extended, it. Having said that, if you’ve played any other clickers you are going to know the deal: the much more you click on, the much more extras you can purchase to increase your clicking. And as you get individuals, the rate for more extras goes up appropriately, locking you into an eternal loop of endless stupidity.

When I wrote about Cookie Clicker very last thirty day period, I was so young and naïve. Ha ha, I joked, search at me however taking part in hours afterwards! I even established up a entice in Kotaku Slack to get Patricia to notify me off, so I could screenshot it in, for the lulz. I glimpse back on individuals halcyon times with a mixture of regret and loathe.

Here’s the screenshot I applied again then:

A Cookie Clicker screenshot from two months ago, when times were simple.

Screenshot: Orteil / Kotaku

Here’s just one from my desktop appropriate now:

Cookie Clicker, with 20 quadrillion cookies in the bank. Help me.

Screenshot: Orteil / Kotaku

Basically it is up to 21.441 quadrillion in the lender now, because considering the fact that I pasted that in a several reward cookies popped up, and I had to hammer the cookie to make the most of them, and then forgot I was composing this.

I’m conserving up for 34 quadrillion, so I can get a 3rd Chancemaker, but there is a horribly robust chance I’ll blow the large amount prior to I get there on rounding up figures of other services in order to get extra achievements (no, I have not come to be some type of accomplishment-chasing loony achievements enhance cookie production, obviously).

Wait, no, just about to hit 22 quadrillion now—a 30x time machines cookie appeared.

Oh God, somebody support me.

I did regulate to not play for about 3 months. I had to reboot my Laptop (eurgh), and forgot to restart the game. I was absolutely free! And then I remembered about it and here we are. It mainly ticks absent in a little window in the corner of my foolish-broad observe, because the lesser the window, the a lot easier it is to location the reward cookies when they fade into existence. Oh my, when you get the Cookies Everywhere bonus, which is a handle in a very small window. Combine that with a 7x frenzy, and the cookie creation is just…what is mistaken with me?

It is not like I’m actively playing it all working day lengthy! I only popped into my analyze about a dozen times in excess of the weekend to just examine on it, and then click a cookie, then—you know—I required to do some cookie admin at that place. Oh, and I taught my son how to use a mouse so he could enjoy too. Which is typical. Perfectly normal.

This is all Patricia’s fault.